Getting laid in Ho Chi Minh City has never been this much fun
words & photos: MATTHEW COWAN
So you’ve rolled out of a bar or club and things are looking way up with the person you’ve met. You’ve played everything right to this point and you’ve got the feeling things are going all the way. But there’s that nagging question — where are you going to seal the deal? How about this? The Hotel Bonita Grand.
Love hotels are more a Japanese delicacy than a Vietnamese one. In Japan they are places where passionate couples don’t fear being judged or embarrassed because lovers don’t come in contact with anyone else during the experience. In Vietnam, it’s a bit trickier — you have to find a cheap hotel somewhere that doesn’t have any hang-ups about unmarried couples sleeping in a room together. The Bonita Grand ticks that box.
The downside to Japanese love hotels is that they are probably too over-stimulating. Believe it or not, it’s easy to get sidetracked from the main task at hand, as it’s all the other gadgets in the room that you want to get your hands on and fiddle with. Do you play the slot machine first, then watch the latest Hollywood movie followed by a bubble bath in the incandescent lit jacuzzi, or do you do it the other way round?
In contrast, the Hotel Bonita Grand is decked out less like a Las Vegas penthouse and more like the set of a teenage wet dream with the Dreams Classroom suite complete with a tantra chair (great for those difficult to get at spots), free HD movies, free wifi for those selfies, a queen size bed, and depending on how well the night has gone, the option of a single or double dancing pole to writhe up and down on, all for just over VND600,000 (US$26).
One of the “classrooms” even has a blackboard, student table and chair in case you need your homework checked. Unlike when you went to school, at the Bonita Grand you get rewarded for being naughty. In all, there are 10 room types to choose from with the most expensive being the Emperor Suite for around VND1.2 million (US$53). Below is the Egyptian inspired Pharaoh’s room.
Great for end of year office parties is the Fantasy Office room for just over VND1 million (US$44) but you have to BYO photocopier.
For kinkier couples who like cosplay, the Hotel Bonita Grand has a wide selection of sexy costumes for hire including accessories. Condoms and gels are also available for sale.
Don’t forget to take your passports or driver’s licences!
The Bonita Grand Hotel is at 570-572 Tran Hung Dao Street, District 5, HCMC and is always open. For more info on a cheeky night out, go to facebook.com/bonitahotel or bonitahotel.com.vn